The Procrastinating Husband vs the Non-procrastinating Wife

Yes, Julie DeNeen was my inspiration yet again. She wrote a post on procrastination and it got me thinking.

My Clean Kitchen

Finally got the kitchen clean, although I had to do it…

I can be the world’s worst procrastinator; however, I much prefer the “get it done now so I don’t have to do it later” philosophy. Nine times out of ten, I’ll do the chore (or whatever) just to get it out of the way so I can get to the fun stuff (like planning my week, or writing my blog post).

My husband, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He will put things off until I get fed up and do the stuff for him. His system works quite beautifully actually, and it works every time. I can ask him to clean the kitchen until I’m blue in the face, and it’ll never get done until I get up and do it. If he does actually “clean the kitchen” he’ll end up just doing the dishes and leave the mess on the stove and the spilled rice on the floor.

How can you do something so half-assed? To me, cleaning the kitchen means cleaning the dishes, wiping down the counters and stove and vacuuming the floor. Doing the laundry means washing, drying and putting away the laundry, not just washing, drying it and leaving it in the basket (sorry Julie… lol). If I’m going to do something, I might as well get it all done at once. I hate leaving things unfinished. I just can’t do it.

Clean Counters

Look!! Nothing on the counters!!

When Greg (my hubby) was working, I had a system. Everything was clean and tidy and I was able keep up on everything. Then he got injured and is now stuck at home, and he has officially screwed up my entire schedule. I haven’t been able to make a new one because I’ve been too busy writing in an effort to pay the bills.

I really miss my system.

This post wasn’t supposed to be a rant about how my husband doesn’t do anything, because that’s really the furthest from the truth. He does try to help out and he doesn’t get overly pissed off when I nag him and I love him dearly for that. The point I’m trying to make in this post is that we have two completely different understandings of chores. I see washing the dishes, vacuuming the floor, and wiping down the counters as one chore: Cleaning the kitchen. Greg sees them all as individual chores (I should have prefaced this by saying we both have ADHD, although Greg has it much worse than I do).Β  Because of his wicked short attention span, his mind breaks up what I see as one big chore into little chores, and that’s how he completes them. His brain sees everything in steps. So laundry looks like this to him:

  • Step one: wash the clothes.
  • Step two: dry the clothes.
  • Step three: put clothes away (optional).

I see all of those “steps” as one task: doing the laundry. It’s the same thing with cleaning the kitchen, or any other chore. It’s all about perception. My perception of how to do something is completely different from Greg’s perception of how to do something. I don’t think many people realize that and I know not enough people realize it.

If I didn’t understand that we both perceive chores (and everything else) differently, Greg and I would be constantly fighting. However, he and I never fight (knock on wood). Honest, we never fight. Sure I get irritated, but we never argue with each other. I think if more people understood that we all perceive things differently, they’d be less likely to argue and fight. We’d certainly be more understanding.

But this post was supposed to be about procrastination. Oh, well, I’ll finish it later.

It Was Clean

My clean counter didn’t last long. This picture was taken 20 minutes after Greg got back from the store and used up our vanilla milk…


8 comments on “The Procrastinating Husband vs the Non-procrastinating Wife

  1. Melissa, the more I read your posts the more I think are we related. I am the same way with doing something like cleaning the kitchen, whereas my husband is way like yours (and he doesn’t have ADHD). He way drives me crazy too, because I just can’t help, but like things neat and in order and he will live in an absolute mess and chaos, but yet his mess would somehow be organized. Please don;t ask me how that works, but somehow it does to him. Anyways, can so very much relate it kind of frightens me, lol!!

    • Greg says the same thing, something about an organized mess. I’ll have to do a post on that, and take a picture of his desk. Talk about a mess!! Unfortunately, my desk sits right next to his, and his mess oozes onto mine at times. It drives me insane! But he’s so content to live in clutter and chaos that he has no idea why I get so irritated by it. No matter how many times I tell him the clutter makes it almost impossible for me to write, it still doesn’t “click.”

      Maybe were sisters in a past life? πŸ˜€ It is uncanny how much we have in common! lol

      • That is just too funny and definitely ironic. Seriously Kevin really does drive me a bit insane with his clutter and mess too. I love the sisters from a past life, because I don’t have a sister and would have loved one. You and I definitely have a ton in common and actually quite like it if I don’t say so myself πŸ™‚

      • I agree! I have a sister who is 18 years older than me, so we unfortunately didn’t grow up together (but she still an AWESOME sister). So, I grew up as an only child. πŸ˜€

      • Again I too have a younger brother by 6 years so I also felt when I was growing up that I was a bit of an only child. As we have gotten older the gap has closed a bit, but still wished I would have had a sister too!! But will adopt you as my sister from another mother any day of the week πŸ™‚

      • Well, consider me adopted! πŸ˜€ Tee hee hee!! I gotta go clean the kitchen now πŸ˜‰

      • Yay on that and hope the kitchen cleaning isn’t taking you too long πŸ™‚

  2. […] With these planner pages I can not only keep track of the assignments due within the week, I can also keep track of the assignments that are due for the entire month! The page above is the freelance page for the week. I love it because it has plenty of room to write what projects I’m working on for any given day, and I can even plan a certain amount of time for the project. Then, when I’m finished, I can record the actual time the project took me to complete, which is fantastic for trying to figure out how much time I’m really spending on certain clients. There’s also a section called milestones, which allows you to plan ways to finish your projects before the deadline. I have yet to use this area, but it may be helpful for those who break their projects down into chunks (you know, like my hubby and how he cleans the kitchen!). […]

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