Facing the Monster


Facing the Monster

Frits Ahlefeldt PD, via Public Domain Pictures

It’s been a rough day. I didn’t go to sleep until 05:00 and then slept for 12 hours. The house is a disaster and I have no motivation or energy to clean it. I’ve got lots of writing to do, but no motivation to do that either. And when the house is a mess, my thoughts are cluttered, and things just snowball from there.

Everything is getting disorganized, including all my thoughts and ideas and that’s really getting on my nerves.

I’m not sure how to get back on track either. I’m pissed at the world right now,and I don’t know why. It’s rare that this happens, but when it does I have a hard time trying to see the forest through the trees.

Then I start having all of those catastrophic thoughts.

And that does nothing for my motivation. I need to be writing like crazy right now because I have several bills due. But I can’t. Then I got a notice in the mail that its time to renew my drivers license. And I have to retake the vision test, and possibly the written test as well as the skills test. REALLY??

I’ve been driving since I was 11 years old (ya, my dad started me young and we somehow hid it from my crazy mom, but I’ve been driving on streets since I was 11 – no we never got caught by the police either) and I’m sure I’ll fail the written test. I failed it the first time I ever took it!

And I can’t parallel park for the life of me… but I think they took that out… at least I hope they did.

Oh I could just SCREAM right now!!

And I have to clean my house, go grocery shopping, write a trillion articles (okay I wish, but I have a lot), and I need to get stuff listed on eBay.

I think I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Plus I’m still trying to get my bank account back, but even though I qualify for a pro bono attorney, for some reason I can’t get ahold of the one assigned to me. That makes it difficult to get the information I need. So if anyone knows anyone who maybe able to help me with that, I’d be ever so appreciative.

On top of that, my hubby got the paperwork in the mail from his attorney that he has to sign for the settlement, which could take forever to get approved. There’s like 6 places that have to be notarized and like 20 places for him to sign. It’s crazy.

Rent’s due on the 8th…. That’ll be fun.

Everything seems to be snowballing, and somehow, I’m losing control of it… again.Β  And Walgreens is AGAIN out of my anxiety medication. Not a good time for them to run out of that… really…

My two boy kitties are trying to have sex… Ya… they’re supposed to get fixed this month…but at least their fun to watch πŸ˜€

I need to go separate them… and I need to go clean my house…

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7 comments on “Facing the Monster

  1. ttoombs08 says:

    Sounds like my month…only without the gay kitten sex. πŸ™‚ I hope things get better for you, DOM. Sending positive thoughts your way. *hugs*

  2. Sending positive thoughts, too. Things will get better. I always like to fall back on that saying: “if you’re going through hell, keep going” – it does get better. πŸ™‚

  3. Michele says:

    Sounds like you need a day off!! If nothing else, just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and relax a moment. This usually leads to an accidental nap for me, but you probably have a bit more self control. πŸ™‚

    • lol apparently I got a day off and that was it! I may need to get back to meditating, my anxiety levels are getting a bit high. A nap sounds really nice too though!! As for self control, uh… not sure about that, I’m an emotional eater, and lately I haven’t been able to control myself… πŸ™‚

  4. […] was answering a comment on the Facing the Monster post I wrote recently, and I had this brilliant thought that I wanted to share with […]

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